We all know that one person who seems to get along with everybody. These individuals make new friends wherever they go, they get invited to every party and have no problems when it comes to dating.
But how do they do it? The most common answer you get when asking somebody how they manage to be liked by everybody is: “just be yourself”. Life changing advice, right? Surely not. If it where that easy, nobody would be struggling to make new friends or finding a partner. The truth is that it’s a little bit more complicated than just being yourself.
Being likeable is an innate skill for some people. Nevertheless, you can develop an attractive personality by imitating those who already achieved your goal.
What exactly makes a person likeable?
Nobody wants to be around negative people, not even other negative people. Those who manage to see the positive in any situation, not only increase their likeability but also live a happier life.
Sadly only few people manage to focus on the positive constantly. How often do you hear people complaining about something? One of the most common complaints is about having bad luck. People cry about how unlucky they are because things aren’t going their way.
What they don’t realize is how lucky they already are to be alive! The odds for your parents to meet, have a relationship and finally have sex (you’re welcome for the awkward image in your head) in order to give birth to you are 1 in 18.900.000.000.000.000.000.000 (I don’t even know how to put that number in words).
So quit complaining about how unlucky you are and make it a habit to focus on the positive in any situation .
There are few things more annoying than talking to somebody who isn’t even listening to what you have to say. The biggest obstacle to being present in the moment is that you are too stuck in your own head. Avoid thinking of what you can say next in order to sound smart. Instead, just listen attentively without judging.
Related: How To Become A Great Listener
Developing a greater presence is only one of the many benefits you get from meditating. Don’t worry, you won’t have to shave your head and sit still for hours every day. You will start noticing results within a few weeks even after meditating only 5 minutes a day.
In the below video a pretty likeable Buddhist monk shares his secrets of meditation.
People who say what’s on their mind without caring what others may think are highly attractive. You know that they will always be truthful and share their honest opinion about anything you ask them. These people may sometimes come across as rude or impolite due to their sincerity, but hey, you got to break some eggs to make an omelette.
You surely heard the phrase “curiosity killed the cat”. What no one ever mentions is if what the cat discovered was worth dying for.
Curious people tend to be likeable because they are truly interested in others. Instead of telling you all about their life and how they became a doctor and whatsoever, they are curious about you. Being genuinely interested will make people enjoy your company and you might learn a thing or two from them. It’s a win-win situation!
Unpredictable people always have interesting stories to tell. You like being around them because you never know what will happen next.
If you are the type of person who likes to plan every step ahead, I am sorry to say that you will most likely not be the fun of the party and live a mostly boring life. The greatest adventures come from letting the chips fall where they may.
A great example for this is the movie “Yes man”, where Jim Carrey plays a salesman who always makes up excuses to avoid going out and barely ever has fun. Until one day he attends a seminar which encourages people to let go and just say yes to everything, no matter what. As a result, his life becomes one big adventure with a lot of stories to share with his grandchildren someday.
Get in front of people
Reading about how to be more likeable is nice and all but it won’t be of much help if you don’t go out and apply what you learn. You may already be more likeable than you think, but how would you know if you don’t go out and get in front of other people?
By socializing more often your people skills will improve without a doubt. Get out of your house and try to engage in a at least one conversation with a stranger every day. On top of sharpening your people skills, you may even meet your next best friend or the love of your life, who knows?
Developing your likeability won´t happen overnight. Becoming the person everybody wants to be around takes time and dedication. You will experience days on which you feel like you have it all figured out and others where you will fall back into your old habits and think that you’re failing miserably.
The most important thing to remember is to keep going whenever you feel like quitting. You can be whoever you want to be, the only thing you must do in order to succeed is commit, no matter what.
Start right now, get out of your house, meet a friend or approach a stranger and start being more likeable.